“My daughter has not seen her biological dad since she was 4. She’s 11 now. When she was 2 he contacted me and asked if I would allow him to terminate his parental rights so he could stop paying child support and I agreed. I wanted to spare her the heartache of a revolving door father and the sacrifice of the financial support was well worth him never being able to disappoint her again. I never lied to her about where he went or who her dad was. I have always answered her questions in the most age appropriate way possible.
When she was four he contacted me and told me he has been diagnosed with cancer and would like to see her. I set aside a day and we met in the park. He had asked for two hours. He stayed 20 minutes and we never heard from him again.
Over the summer we ran into somebody that knows him and they commented on how she looks like his other children. They elaborated that he has settled down and has a family now. My stomach tied itself in knots thinking of how hurtful that must be to my daughter. I cut the conversation short and we got in the car to leave and that’s when I saw her smiling.
She said, ‘Mom, he figured out how to be a dad. That’s such a nice thing. I’m happy for his kids.’
And that’s the day an 11-year-old taught me all I need to know about forgiveness.”
The maturity of this 11-year-old surpasses people in their seventies. Wow!
She immediately found the good in the situation, and she placed their happiness before her own.
But then again – she is already happy – just look at her smile and her body language – they tell the story.
The Next Leap Forward
In a me-me world, she already understands what it means to consider the feelings of others, to let go, and control your own destiny.
Empowerment To Forgive In 7 Lessons
1 – You can not control the actions of other people, just your own actions
2 – Put yourself in their situation, often circumstances dictate outcomes
3 – Don’t stoop to cheap talk and careless behavior, always take the high road
4 – It’s not a myth – life if far too short to spend it hating others
5 – Choose to not carry the burden with you, let it go
6 – You can not change yesterday, but you can make today perfect
7 – We have each been forgiven by God, we should forgive each other
You and only you are in control of your own destiny.
